Repurposing and Rediscovery

I knew this girl once. She was funny and bright, with this crazy smile that looked like the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland.

This girl focused on her career and every aspect of becoming a writer. She published anywhere she could. She loved getting the praise and awards for a job well done. No…she didn’t just love it. She craved it. She knew that it made her a better writer. Then, she graduated from college, and moved on to see her name in print every day as a journalist. She poured over her own stories and the stories of others to hone the craft of news writing and improve it, trying to become the best journalist she could be.

Her are some pictures of the girl from her college days:

See! Beautiful, suspicious, pensive and full of potential! And that first picture really shows the smile!

Then, that girl ceased to exist. Her light went out. She got into an all-consuming relationship with a man who would do everything in his power to build the girl’s confidence in herself — everything to make her crave his praise. She became addicted to it. Then, that man did everything is his power to kill that girl’s identity and squash her sense of self-worth, so she would be completely dependent on whatever praise or love he decided she deserved that day, week or month — which wasn’t much. And she stayed. Like everything else in her life, she tried to be the best wife she could be. She knew that he loved her and praised her every day before, and if she just tried a little harder, she could find that man again, and she would get her identity back.

That’s not the way it happened though. Down the rabbit hole the girl went, and she disappeared…for a long time. But, she is back today. Hello everyone…You can call me Tabs. 🙂

I have sat in my house for three weeks, talking to friends and family about the situation I have endured, and this morning, I’ve decided that it is time to start rediscovering my identity as a writer and repurposing my life. I used to be completely career-driven. Then, when I met my husband, my career didn’t seem important anymore. But, what I didn’t realize was that being a writer is who I am, and without that hunger to write, I feel empty. So, today I write again. It feels good to be back.

 

Tabs today – Oct. 4, 2014

See! She still has that smile!

 

Writing again…and not just here

After almost two years of barely using my creative writing prowess, I’m back to work. I had a feeling that I would want to sit back down to the keyboard once I wasn’t typing away as a journalist day after day.

Now that I’m writing web content for a robotics integrator, I’ve started to contemplate returning to my keyboard in the evenings. It’s an exciting idea.

For almost two years as a crime reporter, I had to sit down and write drudgery day after day. Now, don’t get me wrong — a lot of it could be interesting, and I became quite good at forming a story based on other people’s insights and quotes. However, after working eight hours a day putting 800-1600 words on a page, I had no want to continue to do it at home.

Now, I don’t have to write as much, and it is more editing work than original content. But, even when it is original content, it is very technical, and somehow that is easier for me.